Urban
Nature
I always said and have always
called myself a “city” person. I am a very fast paced, impatient person. I live off of other
people surrounding me and I enjoy being in walking vicinity of all my necessary
needs, such
as: restaurants, clothes, groceries, and much more. It is ironic, because I did not start that way. I was born in Italy, Puglia, where everything
was dark and tiny and everything was not necessarily a drive, but if you walked
you would feel like your stepping onto the set of Jeepers Creepers and you
would feel very unsafe and scared.
I was born with more nature
than concrete,
it was beautiful,
but as a kid I loathed it.
I wanted to leave and that wish was later granted a couple years later when I
moved to New York for college. Even my move to Los Angeles was not suffice, it was still so
dark in the majority of the city, because in truth there was only one street light for every two
blocks. I
always called it a zombie town, because of how slow and nonchalant everyone seemed to be and
how at night in some neighborhoods it tended to look like an apocalypse had
just went down and everyone had been vanquished or disappeared. However, when I left I never
knew how much I would miss, besides the food, its nature. The hikes, the grass, the water, its nature was one of the things I failed to understand or
remember to say bye to when I left.
So when I left Los Angeles
and I arrived to the metropolis New York, I was at first blind. I was excited the lifestyle I wanted, which was city life, had finally come to
be. If I wanted
food, I would
go across the street,
if I wanted to go to school, I would take the metro below my building and in one stop I was
there.
Everything was fast and quick, just how I liked it to be. So when I returned back to zombie town and
I was greeted with what they always seem to live up to, which was there nickname, I did not realize
what else I would be hit with, which was my longing for real and non-manmade nature. I missed my scenic
drives (and driving as a whole), my lookout points, and the fact that if I wanted to be in nature it was just a
twenty to thirty minute drive.
When I returned to what I now
call my third home,
my walks through central park just felt unreal and depressing, the state of
weather that New York was in was also no help. Irony later fell on my lap, when I was assigned
to explore all the parks of New York from one class, and in another I learned about biodiversity. From what I learned
was that where Central Park was, unsurprisingly, was what used to be more of its metropolis. From biodiversity, I learned about the
urbanization and choice selection of the trees, plants, and animals that was placed in Central Park. From what I recall, which may not be
much, when the
committee were selecting which trees and animals to unleash within the new
natured vicinity.
They did not take in consideration if the animals, trees, and plants would truly work together. After discovering
that they did not,
the committee played god and manipulated the nature of the park into working in
a way that perhaps the plants and trees would never have done so from the start.
Although, I seem to be complaining, I am learning to just understand what is
presented to me and stop fighting it, because at least there is some sort of escape from the
constant concrete that tends to be now always around me.
This leads me to my now new life in Paris, and my return to
Europe. Once
again, I have
found myself in a city life, something I adore, and once again I forgot something I would miss or as a human, need. This was nature; in
New York at least it was a big piece urbanized landscape that went for miles. Here, at first, I had the largest
difficulty with all the bans and requirements and locating it. Then we were assigned
two parks, back
to back, the
first being Parc Monceau and the second being Parc des Buttes Chaumont.
The first, Monceau,
was huge and it made me a bit nostalgic in regards to New York and its Central
Park. It had
all the things I have seen in all past parks I had visited; children playing, people working out, and couples
strolling. I
did not expect that part to be different, but what I saw instead was the aesthetic
and the design of the city carried into the park. The park was more fluid and in tune with
its city,
although it may disrupt Paris’ roads, it at least continues its design aesthetic. Monceau has a very
“ruin” or
romantic feel. It feels
as if it has a past and as if it was designed to be strolled and looked at. Most parks they plant
a tree and place a few statues, but Monceau was so beautiful and so
breathtaking that it made me feel relaxed with its nature. Getting lost in it was a pleasure more than a stress or burden. I also, unintentionally, planned it at a moment when the five minutes of sun that is granted
everyday in Paris to be shining at the moment I was walking through.
I recently learned how to walk for pleasure
I used to detest it. It was in my DNA to hate it, because I lived in a place where cars were a necessity for movement and
transportation, and this is all thanks to my lovely zombie
town. However, once I moved to New York and I became
accustomed to its lifestyle and geography, I refused to
use any other form of transportation besides my feet. This is only mainly accomplished in the summer, fall, and spring. Not a single
soul could catch me outside in winter.
So since then I have adored walking, I cannot place a reason but perhaps that it is the only source of
meditation that works on a character type like me. It is the
only form to calm me and relieve me of all the annoyances that hit me
throughout the day. I have never been one to meditate; it
actually infuses me with more anxiety and stress, because the
idea to stand or sit and not move, gives me
stress. When I used to live in Los Angeles, I would go for drives when I was upset or needed space. Paris provides me with my favorite modes of transportation to help me
relax all the while staring at its historic architecture and city.
Overall, I understand
what the city is trying to accomplish. It is trying
to create an illusion or a five-minute escape for its citizens. I always need a break from the city and the park provides it, and when I visit either of the parks, which I have
so fortunately been able to see or visit, it certainly
provides me with what I need. Especially in the summer and the trees and
plants are fully blossomed and flourished in leaves and flowers, you can definitely block out the outside views of the tops of buildings. Luckily, I am one of the very few who enjoys the
sound of traffic and cars so the noise pollution is never a bother.
I opportunely have temporarily moved to a
location where it’s meant to be strolled through. Everything is
designed and structured so beautifully, so I feel, even for non-walkers it is difficult not to even want to attempt it. I was told the only to acquaint
yourself with a new home and city was to walk through and get lost in it. Every time I was assigned a new place, and
especially the park, I decided to lose myself in them. Each time I found a new way home with a new location to go to. After my visits to the park, I visited
Montplier and took abuse to the fact that every city is either an hour or lower
away and I went hiking and more. It was the perfect escape. So far, living in Paris, I have been granted the bests of all three of my past homes; the best
food, nature and city life, beauty, and my
family being in near vicinity. Paris does a good job of incorporating nature
and city life. The parks were beautiful and a joy to
visit.
REVISION NOTES: Urban Nature
ReplyDeleteI always said and have always called myself a “city” person. [don't need both said and called] I am a very fast paced, impatient person. [or just impatient would be enough] I live off of other people surrounding me and I enjoy being in walking vicinity of all my necessary needs, such as: restaurants, clothes, groceries, and much more. [you live off of other people? make this clearer. walking distance to all your needs...] It is ironic, because I did not start that way. [could leave it the irony part: reader will get it] I was born in Italy, Puglia, where everything was dark and tiny and everything was not necessarily a drive, but if you walked you would feel like your [as if you were] stepping onto the set of Jeepers Creepers and you would feel very unsafe and scared. [I'd like to know more about what made it unsafe or even what it looked like. Puglia is inherently interesting since few readers will know it.]
I was born [in an environment] with more nature than concrete, it was beautiful, but as a kid I loathed it. I wanted to leave and that wish was later granted a couple years later when I moved to New York[City to attend] for college. Even my move to Los Angeles was not suffice, it was still so dark in the majority of the city, because in truth there was only one street light for every two blocks. [This shift from New York to Los Angeles is kind of abrupt. It was not sufficient. Maybe explain how you happened to move there. You could also include more detail about the move to New York. You want to set up a sense of what's important to the speaker and what she wants.] I always called it a zombie town, because of how slow and nonchalant everyone seemed to be and how at night in some neighborhoods it tended to look like an apocalypse had just went down and everyone had been vanquished or disappeared. However, when I left I never knew how much I would miss, besides the food, its nature. The hikes, the grass, the water, its nature was one of the things I failed to understand or remember to say bye to when I left. [The zombie part is good.. Maybe a paragraph for Puglia, one for New York, and one for LA. Since you missed nature after leaving LA, that sets up a problem. The impatience with which you begin the essay also sets up a problem that can define the storyline of the narrative.]
Los Angeles part suggests there were two sides to your nature. The impatient city side and the side that appreciates nature, so that you nes eded a balance. The essay might focus on the "nature" side and what it represents for you.]
This narrative essay tells a story that covers a long time span, but ends up in Paris. For the purposes of strengthening the story, it's necessary to begin with a problem, expand on this issue, and end with a resolution. So Paris is of necessity the solution, particularly since you were somewhat dissatisfied with both NYC and LA. I think the narrative needs a stronger psychological component, perhaps beginning with a sense of impatience or disease or discomfort. Wanting to have everything at arm's length is one aspect of the character's personality, but she changes through her travels and discovers another side to herself. If we know more about this character it will matter more. Did her impatience cause problems? Was it unsatisfying in some way? What was good about it? She discovered that she missed the nature in LA, and then found a balance in Paris, I'm not sure how the central park biodiversity part fits in - can you make it fit the theme? But this works better if we feel that it matters, that it's not just about preferences. Also, more detail and some descriptions would make this more concrete. The draft needs quite a bit of cleanup... but it is lively, with a likable, personable voice.
REVISION NOTES: Urban Nature
ReplyDeleteI always said and have always called myself a “city” person. [don't need both said and called] I am a very fast paced, impatient person. [or just impatient would be enough] I live off of other people surrounding me and I enjoy being in walking vicinity of all my necessary needs, such as: restaurants, clothes, groceries, and much more. [you live off of other people? make this clearer. walking distance to all your needs...] It is ironic, because I did not start that way. [could leave it the irony part: reader will get it] I was born in Italy, Puglia, where everything was dark and tiny and everything was not necessarily a drive, but if you walked you would feel like your [as if you were] stepping onto the set of Jeepers Creepers and you would feel very unsafe and scared. [I'd like to know more about what made it unsafe or even what it looked like. Puglia is inherently interesting since few readers will know it.]
I was born [in an environment] with more nature than concrete, it was beautiful, but as a kid I loathed it. I wanted to leave and that wish was later granted a couple years later when I moved to New York[City to attend] for college. Even my move to Los Angeles was not suffice, it was still so dark in the majority of the city, because in truth there was only one street light for every two blocks. [This shift from New York to Los Angeles is kind of abrupt. It was not sufficient. Maybe explain how you happened to move there. You could also include more detail about the move to New York. You want to set up a sense of what's important to the speaker and what she wants.] I always called it a zombie town, because of how slow and nonchalant everyone seemed to be and how at night in some neighborhoods it tended to look like an apocalypse had just went down and everyone had been vanquished or disappeared. However, when I left I never knew how much I would miss, besides the food, its nature. The hikes, the grass, the water, its nature was one of the things I failed to understand or remember to say bye to when I left. [The zombie part is good.. Maybe a paragraph for Puglia, one for New York, and one for LA. Since you missed nature after leaving LA, that sets up a problem. The impatience with which you begin the essay also sets up a problem that can define the storyline of the narrative.]
Los Angeles part suggests there were two sides to your nature. The impatient city side and the side that appreciates nature, so that you nes eded a balance. The essay might focus on the "nature" side and what it represents for you.]
This narrative essay tells a story that covers a long time span, but ends up in Paris. For the purposes of strengthening the story, it's necessary to begin with a problem, expand on this issue, and end with a resolution. So Paris is of necessity the solution, particularly since you were somewhat dissatisfied with both NYC and LA. I think the narrative needs a stronger psychological component, perhaps beginning with a sense of impatience or disease or discomfort. Wanting to have everything at arm's length is one aspect of the character's personality, but she changes through her travels and discovers another side to herself. If we know more about this character it will matter more. Did her impatience cause problems? Was it unsatisfying in some way? What was good about it? She discovered that she missed the nature in LA, and then found a balance in Paris, I'm not sure how the central park biodiversity part fits in - can you make it fit the theme? But this works better if we feel that it matters, that it's not just about preferences. Also, more detail and some descriptions would make this more concrete. The draft needs quite a bit of cleanup... but it is lively, with a likable, personable voice.